The Tabitha Brock Foundation, Inc. : What is the Impact of Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence is a subject that can be difficult to think about, let alone speak about, but for many it is a reality they are forced to live with everyday. Domestic violence kills more than three women and one man every day in the United States. It is because of these dangerous numbers that we must do our best to educate the public on this epidemic.

I first came into knowledge about domestic violence in May 2012. It was on the tenth of that month that my 23-year-old sister was murdered in front of her four-year-old son by his father. She was in college at the time and just completed her first semester; making straight A's. She had been a hair stylist for six years, but wanted to do something different after she had her son. She wanted him to have a good life and decided to go to college to possibly become an elementary school teacher. She never got to finish college. She will never see her son grow up or attend another family Christmas dinner. So many memories stolen from her future.

I was 21-years-old at the time of her murder and emotionally could not handle what happened. I didn't understand how he could have killed her. At the time I knew virtually nothing about domestic violence. Although I knew how badly he treated her it didn't click that it may ever turn into anything violent. I just thought he was a jerk and cruel to her. I never knew he would eventually kill her and then set her body on fire in her car. I began to research all I could about domestic violence, the signs, it's impact, anything I could find. I started a Facebook page in her memory (The Tabitha Brock Foundation).

I would find something that would both break my heart and inspire me at the same time. I found that there was a whole network of advocates working to educate society on domestic violence. I was able to read their stories and connect, but it broke my heart to know what they had endured. I read of Melissa Dohme's (Support Melissa) story of survival where she had been brutally stabbed 32 times by an ex-boyfriend. She went on to become a strong and courageous advocate against domestic violence and now has shared her story with thousands of people at events, high schools, and colleges.

I read of the tragic murder of Ashleigh Marie Lindsay and her unborn daughter, Patience (Memorial Facebook Page). Ashleigh had been severely abused by Joshua Mahaffey, her ex-boyfriend. She went into hiding to protect herself and her child after leaving him. For a month she went from friends house to friends house. She made plans to go to a domestic violence shelter on a Saturday. Friday Joshua Mahaffey found Ashleigh. He shot Ashleigh and their unborn child, Patience. He then killed himself. Ashleigh passed away from her injuries. Her family now works to spread awareness to domestic violence in Ashleigh and Patience's memories (Ashleigh's Patience Project).

I connected with others through a wonderful national organization called Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence. It was founded by Kristen Paruginog who had shared her story of survival on social media. She went on to create a 501(c)(3) non-profit to help educate the community on this issue and empower victims of domestic violence to become survivors. BTS has reached people from all around the world and gave a community to advocates and survivors. +Breakthesilence DV

I began to understand the impact of domestic violence on our society the more stories I read. My sister, Tabitha, was one of three women who died on May 10th over two years ago. I know the impact that her loss had on my community. Her son lost both his mother and his father in one day. His mother was murdered and his father jailed. My mother lost a daughter and three siblings lost a sister. Tabitha had so many family and friends that loved her completely. Her loss broke their hearts. The cost to me was the loss of a sister, grief, and PTSD. The effects rippled out to hundreds of people because of one man's actions.

Think of the impact of this on society as a whole. Imagine every day in the United States three women and one man losing their lives. Their loss will harm so many people. Not only would this cause a serious economic impact on our society, but also on the emotional, physical, and spiritual health of those involved in the loss. (Community Cost of Domestic Violence)

I am now a few months away from being 24-years-old. It will be the first time in my life I will be older than my sister. It makes my heart ache. I have in this time done what I can to educate my community on domestic violence and attempt to end the stigma around it. While some subjects in this life may be uncomfortable to bring to light it is something we must do if we are to ever eliminate this tragic epidemic.

What I would suggest to those looking to become an advocate against domestic violence is to read everything you find on this issue. There are many great resources I will link that can help you understand the signs, symptoms, and impact of DV. You could also contact your local domestic violence shelter and ask to volunteer or for more information. Talking to family members, friends, and even strangers is key to educating our society on DV.

Wishing You the Best,
Tabitha's Little Sister Nikki

Resources:

http://www.icadvinc.org/
http://www.ncadv.org/
http://www.breakthesilencedv.org/
https://www.rainn.org/
http://www.thehotline.org/
http://nnedv.org/