In our society there is very little education on mental illness. We tend to keep silent about this type of pain. It is important for us to break this stigma and allow open discussion on mental health. Today, I would like to write about PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and the causes, symptoms, and long term effects relating to it.
I felt the need to write this post on my own struggle. I was diagnosed with PTSD last year, nearly two years after the murder and burning of my older sister, Tabitha. I did not seek a therapist until I began to have severe physical symptoms and doctors could find nothing wrong with me. I became very ill, barely able to eat, nauseous constantly, and had terrible stomach pains. The pain was so overwhelming at times I was sure I was dying.
I had been very close to my sister and took her death very hard. At the time I did not know that PTSD was escalating the grief I was feeling for her. I could barely leave the house unless it was for work or to do a community event on domestic violence awareness. I lost countless friends because I could not bear to be around other people. It only reminded me of my loss. I have extreme anxiety attacks over the smallest encounters. For a long time I hide away from others because of fear of anxiety; even thinking about it can cause an anxiety attack.
PTSD can be caused by being in combat, rape or sexual abuse, living through a disaster, or any traumatic event. Anyone can develop this disorder and it is not a sign of weakness. Most people experience some type of stress after trauma, but if it continues to linger you may have PTSD. To know for sure you can set an appointment with your family doctor or a local therapist.
Symptoms of PTSD can include: severe anxiety, startled responses, always feeling on alert, fear, losing interest in activities you once enjoyed, feeling numb, avoidance of anything that reminds you of the event, guilt over the event, angry responses such as lashing out at family or friends, neglecting health, drinking too much or consuming drugs, or physical symptoms such as stomach pains, headaches, and fatigue.
For some people, with the help of a good therapist, they can quickly heal from PTSD, but others may live with the symptoms for the rest of their lives. It has nothing to do with strength or weakness. Everyone is wired differently and has different responses to this disorder. If you are able to safely speak to friends or family I recommend you open up about the issues you are facing. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. If they better understand what you are going through the easier they can provide you with support.
In the meantime there are many things you can try to help get you through your day. Recognizing my triggers helped me be able to better avoid them when necessary. Triggers are anything that causes you to feel anxiety, fear, or a negative emotional response. Such as watching violence on television may be extremely upsetting for someone who had experienced violence close hand. If you can write in a journal what causes these episodes you can better prepare yourself for when it happens.
Activities that can help; keeping a daily journal, meditating daily, reading positive books, meeting up with a small group of friends or family, writing friends online when you don't feel like leaving the house that day, bond with an animal companion, gardening, taking morning walks, connecting with a therapist trained in trauma, trying one new or old hobby a week.
What has helped me is slowly trying to do activities that I once enjoyed. For a long time after Tabitha's murder I could not bring myself to write, something I loved. It has taken time, but now I try to write at least once a week and it has helped me tremendously. I continue to work on the foundation page I created in memory of my sister. It gives me a purpose and allows me to spread awareness to why violence must end,
The struggle with PTSD is real and it is difficult, but there is a lot one can do to help ease the symptoms. If you do not have friends or family for support you can always look for online groups where survivors connect. Just know that you are not alone and it is not your fault. I have provided links below on more information.
- Nikki, Tabitha's Little Sister
Links:
http://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/understanding_ptsd/booklet.pdf
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Posttraumatic_stress_disorder
http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/post-traumatic-stress-disorder
Online Support Groups:
http://ptsd.supportgroups.com/
http://www.healthfulchat.org/ptsd-chat-room.html
Face-to-Face Support Groups:
http://ptsd.meetup.com/
http://ptsdusa.org/get-help/warrior-groups/
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