The Tabitha Brock Foundation, Inc. : My Sister. My Friend.

Friday, April 3, 2015

My Sister. My Friend.

I have the unfortunate reality that tomorrow is my birthday and I will be 24 years old. While most would look at this age as nothing in particular; for me it has special significance. At 23-years-old, I am now the age that my sister was when she was brutally murdered and later set on fire. I was 21-years-old when Tabitha Brock, my 23-year-old sister, was taken from us. Now nearly three years later I am the age she was and tomorrow...I will be older.

I do not understand completely why I dread this so terribly; except with the knowledge that it will be the first time in our lives, now my life, that I am older. Tabitha took great pride in being an older sister and I regularly looked forward to calls from her; just checking up on me. She was the greatest friend I had ever known. She was always the very first to text me, "Happy Birthday". I believe she waited up till midnight every time because by 12:05am there would be a text from her.

I truly believed we would have our entire lives together and watch one another grow old. I thought we would laugh as our bodies aged and take care of one another. She was kind, compassionate, and a friend anyone would hope for. My childhood memories with her consist of playing Barbies, singing Britney Spears on Karaoke, and long talks at night. Watching Disney movies and staying up late during hot summer nights.

I remember the first time I ever thought of Tabitha dying. I was maybe eight years old and had just finished reading Bridge to Terabithia. The story of two young friends I was instantly drawn in. Later in the book when the young girl died I kept thinking about Tabitha. All the times we would play and how quickly it could be lost. Something, or someone, could very easily take us away from one another. It would be the first, but not the last time, I cried over her loss.

Now here I am. Nearly three years later dreading my 24th birthday tomorrow. I know she would want me to be joyous about it and tomorrow I know I will have a wonderful and fun time with my family. I cherish my time with them more than ever. But, for tonight, I will allow myself the time to mourn this loss again. To remember the beautiful blonde haired girl I played with for so many hours during my childhood. For the incredible young mother she was to her son, who she loved more than anything. And to the greatest friend I have ever known.

I Love You, Tabitha.

Your Little Sister,

Nikki Allman

My sister, my friend.

Tabitha Gayle Brock

Born November 20, 1988 - Murdered May 10, 2012